070520042022 -

fourth of july? that happened? when? yesterday? could have fooled me. oh well.

today concludes the last of the days in a five-day-straight work-a-thon. i am so sick of clothes, accessories and housewares it's not even funny. all my creativity has been drained along with all of my energy.

i'm dead. dead. dead to the world.

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ahhh, the things to be regretted in the morning. i've wanted it all day... i've been waiting for you, dear sleep, and now i just cast you off and run. i'm so tired, but i can't bring myself to do it... my mind is too busy. busy with thoughts and memories, i'm too busy interrogating my every mood thought and breath throughout the day. i'm afraid to get in that bed, because i have no idea what i want, and i know that i'll wake up just as lost as ever.

there. i said it.

shut up...

i know that they're there. those voices that only come when i'm fighting sleep.

you don't want to sleep...

i heard someone whisper to me... a boy... a man. whatever. no one's here. i was counting zeros and he whispered to me. fuck, i don't want to sleep alone tonight.